Elite Hockey Nation

If a woodchuck could chuck wood it would not be able to chuck too much wood in one sitting because it has weak, feeble arms. So it would have to hire a personal trainer to build up it's strength, but the personal trainer would push the woodchuck too far, so it runs away. The woodchuck now depressed, decides there's nowhere left to go and tries to kill itself. However, it gets hit by someone who is chucking wood, which makes it realize there is so much to live for. So in honor of the human woodchucker, the woodchuck decides to chuck wood often. But then it realizes it's arms are too feeble and it must work up strength, which causes the whole cycle to repeat. Sick of this cycle, BigCheese decides to remove the woodchuck's ability to woodchuck, as it would create too much plodding and not enough ability to actually discover how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Which is why this question is asked, and why woodchucks can't chuck wood.

I hope you understand that this is beyond our abilities to answer. Scientists are making progress, though. Check the news reports.

Wow..... I uhhhh.... well, here's an even BETTER question; how many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns? 

kaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy...........

Nuns have each other's backs, so they're more likely to chuck tyrannical priests, out the window!  How many priests could a nun defenestrate if a nun could defenestrate priests?